An FAQ

To celebrate my two comment anniversary (Yes! Two WHOLE comments. It seems like only four days since it all began), I'm posting this little FAQ.

Okay, so no-one's actually asked me any questions, let alone frequently asked me any questions. So, I'm just gonna make up a few questions you might frequently ask me...

Are you a robot?
No, I'm a human.
Or maybe I was programmed to think I'm a human...

I don't find you funny or interesting, and I'm very upset
Fair enough...

OMFG YoU fuykin REtart!#!1 YU BloG SUX!1!!!one!! SUX mY DICKZX FFaGG!!!
I'll have to decline your kind offer, as I feel that suxing your dickzx might jeopardise our friendship, which I've come to value very highly...

Why are you so weird?
I wasn't raised very well

Why not?
I was raised in the woods, by a swarm of wasps

No, seriously...
There was a massive personality clash between my parents and I would sometimes get caught in the crossfire. So I retreated to my own little world for about eighteen years. Then I moved out...

What made you become a transvestite?
I was bitten by a radioactive drag queen

Are you going to answer all my questions sarcastically?
Noooooo, I wouldn't dream of it

Just do it properly... >:(
My sister dressed me up as Snow White when I was very young. It all kind of snowballed from there.

How does crossdressing make you feel?
Aroused, mainly...

Do you have any physical deformities?
I'm double-jointed.
My fingers are slightly webbed, you wouldn't notice if I didn't tell you, but I'm sensitive about it.
I have no spleen, due to an injury.
I'm circumcised, due to phimosis.

Eww, you freak!
Your face is a freak!

How do you know if you're with the right person or if you're just sticking with them until the right person comes along?
That's quite a complicated question, but I think if the magic is there, you'll know.
Also, if you cheat on them, then it's probably the latter...

Wouldn't this be better if you were asking other people's questions, rather than these stupid ones you came up with yourself?
Yes, yes it would. Leave your questions in the comments section, folks

What do you look like?
People keep calling me Jesus. What does that tell you?

I'm asking the questions here, buddy!
Oh, you wanna rumble, huh?

So, what if I do? What are you gonna do about it?
I have one question for you.

...
Well?

I'm thinking.... Okay, what's your question?
How do you break out of an awkward, semi-improvised tangential conversation with an imaginary interviewer within the context of a blog post?

I don't kno-..
BAP!!!

Son of a...